Last 30 May 2018 I already posted an article about the day of the donor child for the websites of k vrouw van jou en van Xyto media that published my article on several city newspapers websites. Alkmaar, Amsterdam, Heerveen, Almere, Zaandam, Texel etc.
On the same day I made a call on my Facebook blog. I wanted to give my half brothers and sisters the opportunity to get in touch with each other earlier. My half brothers and sisters were conceived between 1999 and 2010 via the semen of donor E19 of the Academic Medical Center (AMC) in Amsterdam. By law, a donor conceived person may contact his or her donor father if they are 16 years of age or older.
Then they may submit a request to the artificial insemination donor data foundation for a meeting with their donor father. Afterwards, the donor child receives the contact details of half siblings known to the donor. "If every half sibling comes around, around age 16, I will probably meet my last half sibling in 2027. That's really crazy to think about."
I've been raised in the illusion that I wouldn't have half siblings. I asked my mother after we watched the RTL4 program Wie is mijn vader? (Who is my father?) that we had been following. I thought my sister and I couldn't be the only ones because the others also had half siblings. My mother then said, "They chose the donor especially for us," they said. So he is only for us. ""
I then resigned myself to it that it was so. Because yes, as a young child you think ''mother knows best'' as they always say in the Disney movies. As a child, you don't doubt what your parents say. They are always right, or are they not?
I wanted to sign up for who is my father but unfortunately I was too young. And I was not from a very anonymous donor either. So nothing would have come out anyway. So for a long time I thought, "I can only have half brothers and sisters if my donor father has had children himself with his wife."
Emailing to the hospital
As I wrote in my previous blog on Ik vrouw van jou, I had emailed the hospital a few months before I turned 16. I had previously spoken to donor conceived people from the same clinic who had received more information through email about their donor father and any half brothers and sisters. So I wrote an email to the AMC for more info.
Jun 7 2016 20:37
Dear AMC.
I am a donor conceived person and I am 15 years old and will be 16 years old in 4 months on October 5th. I have already received my donor paper. My donor is semi-anonymous.
And his donor code is E19. My parents have always been told that he was only their donor. Is this actually correct? And if not, is it known if I have halfsiblings?
And do you have more information than that I only have in my donor paper?
Now I am turning 16 and I want to apply to meet my donor.
I would like to start the process as soon as possible.
Can you help me further?
Kind regards,
Joëlle
The next day, quite quickly after 13 hours and 34 minutes, I received an answer to my email. I read it immediately when he came in secretly during my class.
Jun 8 2016 10:11
Dear Joëlle,
To find out, I need the following information from you: Your mother's maiden name and date of birth. If this is indeed donor E019, then I can state that this donor is a B-counter donor and that his data has already been passed on to the donor data artificial insemination foundation. Donors are always used for several patients, in this case 19 pregnancies are known. However, we have no insight into the outcome of all pregnancies. In order to pass on your details to the foundation, I need the following information: Your full first names and surname and your date of birth. You can request data from the donor at: https://www.donorggegevens.nl/
Hope to have informed you sufficiently, and I await your answer.
Sincerely,
….
That lesson left me in shock and after my mentor asked what was wrong with me, I almost screamed from the rooftops with joy. "I have 17 half-brothers and sisters !!!!! "
Then it was time to tell my parents. This was the start of my school day so I couldn't go to them right away so I decided to text them both the news. They were happy for me, but also in shock. So there are simply many more children of "their donor".
The second day of Christmas
I received an email with the text half brother and a younger half brother. So the mother of my half brothers decided to google the donor code of our donor. They wanted to make an application through the donor data artificial insemination foundation for the meeting with our donor father.
And their mother thought why do I not google on donor E19. What I used to do as a child, but then I didn't found anything. And what happened when she typed that in on google… yes… I'll tell you. My blog with the donor code popped up at the top in google.
"Ehh guys I have something to tell you ... " My oldest brother decided to write me an email.
The next day we went Skype, and since then we meet up as much as possible. We all study, so that usually falls during the holidays. We also celebrate our birthdays together. Which is very nice.
A new sibling every year
At the moment, through the clinic where I was conceived, there are 8 half siblings, out of 7 pregnancies known of the 19 pregnancies of 14 families there are. Not to mention about 13 more half-brothers and sisters that came into being because my donor father helped some of the recipient mothers he had met on the internet.
In the coming years I think that every year a new brother or sister will apply to get to know our donor father. If every half-brother or sister comes around at he age of 16, I will probably meet my last half-brother or sister in 2027.
That are really crazy thoughts. So if there is an only child, I will meet that half-brother or sister when I am 27 years old and he or she is 16 years old. I may be a mother or have a job already. And that brother or sister is probably almost finished with his or her high school education. My donor father is almost 60 years old. then. Strange thoughts like I said. There are now just children between 7 to 8 and 15 years old who are not yet known to us. I sometimes think about what kind of people my half siblings can be. I think a lot more about younger half brothers and sisters. I don't know who they are, but it could just be that I'm doing an internship with half a brother or sister in the classroom as a teaching assistant without even knowing it.
My call for help
My call on facebook - Sharing is nice
I had wanted to place a call for a long time, and saw the day of the donor child as a great opportunity to take the plunge and simply place the call. My call has been shared 56 times so far. Most responses are good responses.
But sometimes also those reactions that I could disrupt lives upside down when people don't want to. And that there are people who do not accept that their children would have contact with half brothers and sisters. While you don't know if your child wants that if you don't tell them they have half siblings they don't know about
I know it's a 1 in a million chance that a parent of a half sibling or my half siblings read it themselves, but to me it's a principle. That every donor child has the right to grow up with his half brothers and sisters. And to know them from as young as possible.
The Dutch Donorchild Foundation is working together to persuade the government to start a national registration system where half siblings can come into contact with each other if they want to. I think it is important to have contact with half siblings because it is part is mine. Each donor child grows up in a different kind of life but most of them grew up from my half brothers and sisters with 2 mothers. That part of our life stories is about one. My half brothers I have met so far are really great.
Our bond cannot be described in words, but it feels very natural. It seems like we've known each other for years. They make me an even better person. I have gained friends and family for life. And I will not trade that for a million.
Be sure to share my call and follow my blog, Facebook, and YouTube channel to keep up to date with her donor child story.
If you want to contact with other donor conceived people yourself because you are a donor conceived and from the Netherlands, then send a private message to the Facebook page of the Dutch Donor child foundation. Are you a donor conceived person and Dutch and do you want to look actively for your donor father and / or any half-brothers and sisters? Then register with the donor detectives by sending them a private message on Facebook. Then you will be added to the group for donor detectives who would like to help find you. For others there is also DNA for the donor conceived where you can ask for help.
They have a Facebook group and help donor conceived people look for their donor father and half-brothers and sisters through DNA tests such as FamilyTreeDNA and family tree research.