As a lesbian couple, single woman or a couple of whom one of the two is infertile or both themselves are infertile, and there is a desire to have children, a plan B is being considered.
They can go for adoption, foster care parenthood, but often a ART is chosen. Artificial Insemination Technology.. Below I briefly summarize the types of donors.
Sperm donor
A man, usually a student or a man who has just become a father himself. A sperm donor wants to help couples have children. There are also many cases where men themselves do not want to have children but want to help other couples to realize their wish and therefore become donors.
Egg cell donor
Egg donors are women who usually already have children, or who do not want children at all and who would like to help other women with their desire to have children. Women often become egg donors after having had IVF themselves and donate egg cells that remain.
Embryo donor
In February 2013, according to the media, a child was born from an embryo donation for the first time in the Netherlands. This was through the Medical Center Kinderwens, the only place where until now can have treatment for an embryo donation in the Netherlands. Embryo donation often takes place after a couple or single woman has finished her IVF treatments. The hospital then asks the couple whether the woman wants to destroy the remaining embryos, donate them to science or donate them to couples who wish to have children. Some people then choose to donate the remaining embryos. Because they think it is a shame to have the remaining embryos destroyed. They want to give them a chance at life. But it may be the case that biological mother and father do not know each other if a single woman undergoes KID and leaves embryos from her IVF treatments. A child is really a craft package that was not even born out of love from both donors. The child's own biological parents do not even know each other.
We will now go to what types of donors you can choose from.
Anonymous donor
These donor can never be contacted in a normal way. Donating semen anonymously is prohibited in the Netherlands. Unfortunately, couples still obtain anonymous donor material from abroad that denies their child(ren) the right to parentage. Clinics abroad still offer anonymous donors nowadays. They say they can guarantee anonymity. But that is no longer possible. Because of the DNA that the child inherits from his or her donor father, donor mother, or even donor parents. Thanks to today's modern DNA techniques, a child can always find its donor parent(s).
Identity release donor
B - donor represents a known donor. It may not be known to the parents, but becomes known to the child when the child is 16 years of age or older. Then the child can apply to meet the donor (s). The B donor agrees to meet his progeny 16 years after his donation. And is aware that children will seek contact later.
Known donor
Known donors are men and women who want to donate their sperm and eggs directly to a bam mother, lesbian couple or straight couple or donate to a sperm bank as a known donor. The donor therefore knows his recipient (s) and the recipient (s) knows / know her / their donor.
I am asked several times a month by prospective mothers who follow me, what I will do if I were to be in the position of prospective mother. Shall I go abroad to get donor material there or do I choose a donor through the clinic and let that history repeat itself. Or do I opt for a known donor. Which will be known to my child(ren) since the beginning of their life.
A while ago my thoughts were very different. I said I will opt for a B donor through the hospital. My children would then have the chance to meet their donor father when they were 16 years old. But my thoughts then changed again after half a year. I am not going to do to my future child(ren) what I have experienced. Even though I know they might see it differently. I think their happiness should be above mine. And that they have the right to know who their father is and to grow up with him in their lives. That they have the right to have their father's name on their birth certificate. I will then choose a known donor if I was a mother. Who knows, I might choose a close friend or a man who also wants to have children. And we raise the child together. This is how I view it now. I don't know what the future will look like and whether I will start to think differently about it. But this is what I find there and what I will go for at the moment.
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