The government of the Netherlands has questioned whether the age limit at which a donor conceived person will be allowed to meet the donor father / mother should be lowered. It is currently possible in the Netherlands to find out the identity from the age of 16. There is still a big debate going on from what age this should be. Hence, an investigation started to find out. If it is up to me, the age limit should be adjusted.
I had been looking for information about being a donor conceived person on the internet since I was 10 years old, I thought a lot about my father, and tried to imagine all the possible outcomes of his life. Donor conceived people do not all have the same emotions. Some don't feel like it and may not even want to meet him / her. But others feel some sort of loss or are simply curious about who the donor is, the one who took care of half of their existence. Why will you deny children that for so long?
What will be my ideal is more openness to the whole situation. That a donor conceived person, in addition to being able to make the choice about what it wants, also receives more support and good psychological help from the government. Because there has to come a possibility to come into contact with half-brothers and half-sisters from a young age. Because there is a great need for this from donor conceived people and parents. Many questions would be answered if there were to be a registration system at a government aided body. Where, as a donor conceived (or parent for mirror child) and donor you will be able to voluntarily register for free if you want to get in touch with each other. A donor can indicate whether it is open to contact earlier than the age limit and a donor conceived person has answers. A win-win situation.
My sister was 13 years old when she went to the first meeting with our biological father. Everything just went well. She never got the identity's questions that I had around the same age. She was allowed to meet him earlier than the age limit, after a conversation with our psychologist from Fiom. Only because I was already 16 years old at the time. As a donor conceived person at the age of 13, why will I not be able to handle that, and she will?
Do I think the age limit should be lowered? When I put myself in the shoes of my younger self, I think so. If she could face me she would beg me to do something about it. Then I would have already stood at the cabinet to have my say there, if that had been easier. In the Netherlands, the age limit of 16 was devised at one point because you can then make your own medical choices. They believe that you are therefore competent enough to be able to make the choice as to whether or not you will want to have your donor father / mother. You will therefore be able to better oversee the risks and consequences. But there are so many difficult things that you have the right to have a say in at a younger age. From the age of 12 you already have a say about where you will live if your parents divorce, and you already have a medical say. If you have permission from your parents, you can already perform euthanasia yourself at that age. Then why will you not have a say in when you want contact with your donor father / mother? If this person is open to that too, why not? I think that if psychological help is available, the wishes and interests are looked at, that it can end well. If the donor and the donor conceived person are both open to it, it is up to them to what they want. My ideal end situation is openness and the right to have a say for earlier contact with the donor father / mother from the age of 12. And if the donor still is not ready for contact then, the age limit of 16 years remains. But then the donor father / mother cannot escape a contact moment at this age. Which is still legally possible until now in the Netherlands.
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