Families come in all different shapes and sizes. I have the family that I grew up with and the family that I have all added after I was 16. I actually already had them but I didn't know who they were. And a lot of them I still don't know who they are.
You have different types of families as Google describes very well. Here is the summary that Google gave me:
You have the Nuclear family, which is the traditional way of having a family. Just a family consisting of 2 parents living together with their children.
Then there is the single parent family where one of the parents raises the child alone. And often there is a conscious choice for unmarried parenthood through, for example, a kid or adoption. It is also possible that a parent has abandoned the family.
Then we have the extended family. These are entire families who live together with cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents. They take care of each other. And this is happening more and more.
A Childless family is a couple that cannot have children or chooses not to have children.
A step family is the family that arises when 2 people get divorced and decide to move in with someone else when they both already have children from their previous relationship.
Those children have step relatives. The family of their mother or father's partner.
A grandparent family consists of grandparents who, for whatever reason, raise their grandchildren as their own children. This could be because there is an addiction, not enough money to care for the child or because the parents have passed away.
None of these family structures are wrong, right? Most have a standard family that they grow up with, they know who they are. You know who all your nephews, nieces and uncles and aunts are. And okay great uncles and aunts also become a bit more difficult, but you can always ask your parents or grandparents what their names are.
But then you also have donor conceived people who also have a whole family that they do not grow up with and that they may only get to know for a part later. And then you have all the ancestors from this side. I recently received a comment that hurt me very much and I would like to share it with you:
“Joëlle people who choose a donor in a clinical context know this, so it is not really the intention to build a bond with that person or other children conceived from his semen..........
..... You see a donor as family but he is not at all. You just have some DNA in common.''
And so I can show more of the message but that makes me sad. “Actually not the intention.”...... So I will not be allowed to have contact and build a bond with my half siblings and donor father because it has been clinically related as it is said in fancy words. First, I have had no clinical contract with the clinic as have my half-siblings. I did not sign a contract before my birth to grow up not knowing who my donor father and half siblings are. The ones who signed a contract were my mothers and donor father. This was just to create a beautiful life that I am the result of.
I see my donor father as family yes, that's because without him my family couldn't exist. He's not just a stranger to me. I would never have existed without him, as would my half-siblings. And no one decides for me whether or not he is related . And children from the same donor are half siblings yes. Just because to indicate clearly. And they are forever family to me with a place in my heart. You can rename a band, but that doesn't change the blood relationship you have with each other. I know that family is not just made up of people who share DNA with each other. And I'm the one who knows about that. I love my biological family as much as my non-biological family. It is said that I "only share DNA with them" and yes that is true but that makes me interested in them. We look alike and we have things in common. And I wonder how they're doing and I worry about them sometimes too. It naturally feels so familiar. Lizzy a donor child I got to know online describes very nicely in her TED talk how I feel myself. My donor father and half brothers got my nature after my parents their nature and when I got to know them I felt so much more complete inside myself. It is something you cannot describe and understand as a human being if you have not experienced and feel the same.
Every being here on Earth eventually becomes interested in where he or she comes from. And wants to know who his/her ancestors are. If not, it will move up a generation. Even if it is on the deathbed.
I have always been interested in my family history from all 3 sides. No one can forbid me to be interested in my family. And to take all these people from my family close to my heart. It doesn't hurt to give even more people you love a place in your heart?